TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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April 22, 2006
Volume 4, Number 8
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country
2. Top Drawer Article
3. Top Drawer Tips
4. Top Drawer Book Review
5. Top Drawer Satire

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CARPENTER COUNTRY
What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

 

Some people have pet names for their office equipment. Here in Carpenter Country we call our telephone Jack Dumb – because lately he’s been acting like a noodlehead.

The other night at 1:30 a.m. Jack’s bell rang. Startled out of a sound sleep, we grabbed the receiver.

Who could be calling at this hour?

Family? Friend?

None of the above. It was the sheriff phoning to check on our emergency. After we explained there was no emergency, he strongly suggested we check our phone.

Lately we’ve been having problems with dead spaces, busy signals, squeaks, squawks and strange voices on our landline. Now a 911 call.

What was our dopey phone going to do next?

We were still pondering that question at the crack of dawn as we dialed repair. Push one, push two almost immediately brought up a friendly voice.

After listening to our problem, the voice informed us some cordless phones do dial 911 if their battery begins to fail.

We smiled and thought, Oh, really?

But we’re always hungry for new information, and since we were connected to a knowledgeable ear, our next question was – could a failing battery cause squeaks, squawks and noises?

The nice voice said that could happen.

A trip to Radio Shack confirmed Jack’s battery was weak. The clerk gave us a strange look when we mentioned the emergency call, but agreed anything was possible.

Today Jack’s fully charged. And now that he’s behaving like brand new, we’ve decided to re-name him.

Any phone clever enough to dial 911 for help deserves to be called Jack Smart.

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

Taxpayer Advocate
by
HL Carpenter

 

If you have a grievance with the Internal Revenue Service that’s causing a major hardship or an issue that’s not being resolved in a timely manner, the Taxpayer Advocate Service (TAS) may be able to help.

Read the entire article here

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

 

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TOP DRAWER BOOK REVIEW

by
HL Carpenter

 

Get Out of Your Own Way at Work
by Mark Goulston, M.D.
ISBN 0-399-15266-0
248 pages; hardcover; $24.95
G.P. Putnam’s Sons, New York, 2005

The bad news is threefold: There are plenty of ways to trip yourself up, you probably learned most of them in childhood, and it’s going to take work to get over them.

Read the entire review here

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Faster Than a Speeding Government
by
HL Carpenter

 

What exactly is the speed of government?

After a hundred and fifteen years of painstaking research, scientists at the US Department of Hurryupandwait expect the answer to be forthcoming in the near future. If so, it will be a milestone achievement, putting to rest speculation – much of it negative - about the true swiftness of bureaucracy.

Read the rest here