TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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December 1, 2007
Volume 5, Number 23
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country
2. Top Drawer Article
3. Top Drawer Tips
4. Top Drawer Satire

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CARPENTER COUNTRY
What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

 

Cookies, cookies everywhere - but so far not a single batch has turned out right. What’s going on?

Seems the short one, feeling in a holiday mood, volunteered for a cookie exchange. The directions were bake three and a half dozen cookies, all of one kind.

Simple, she thought, like any good novice. Read a cookbook. Start baking.

Lessons learned immediately. Soft dough makes chewy cookies. Stiff dough makes crunchy cookies. Red and green colored sugar adds a Christmassy touch.

The first try, Pretzel Fingers, stuck to the counter when rolled pencil thin. Chilling the dough resulted in brittle pencils that broke in the middle. And we won’t discuss tying the pencils into pretzel knots. The result - a delicious cookie that barely looked fit to leave the house.

On to the next recipe, Lemon Tea Drops. Easier to make, though an error in calculating portion size produced only thirty six pieces from a recipe that promised forty eight. Of those, twenty four fused to the pan.

When the taster wandered by and sampled a mangled confection, his opinion was, “Maybe you should try chocolate next time.”

More cookbook reading produced several other batches, each with problems. Time was marching on. In desperation, the short one contemplated buying store-bought slice-and-bake.

That’s when Carpenter Country’s editor arrived bearing a recipe, ingredients, as well as an extra baking sheet - and saved the day.

It appears that eventually minor crises resolve themselves into something better...in this case...a perfect batch of Jam Shortbread cookies.

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

Transitioning to Digital Television
by
HL Carpenter

 

Here’s a news flash from the future. On February 17, 2009, analog television sets will go dark.

Read the entire article here

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

 

Tip: If you choose to purchase a new television instead of a converter box to get ready for the transition to digital television broadcasting, you can recycle your old set. Check http://www.mygreenelectronics.org/ for details.

Glossary Term: Digital. Digital television signals are broadcast in numerical form, like the bits and bytes you’re familiar with from computer jargon. Your converter receives and interprets the numbers and transforms them back into pictures. That’s why the picture remains clear, no matter the interference between your set and the broadcaster (and why you either have a picture or you don’t, with no middle ground). In contrast, analog signals are transmitted to your set as video waves. The vibrating electronic waves are affected by interference, which can cause snowy pictures and fade-outs.

Financial Horoscope: It’s trite, but no less true for being a cliché: Things change, whether you want them to or not. New technologies replace the old, new ideas come into vogue. When combined with uncertainty and confusion, change can be expensive, both financially and emotionally. Yet rejecting change also has costs. Remind yourself you’re in the driver’s seat when it comes to your finances, even in inclement weather. Plan your route, then focus your attention on what lies ahead, while checking the rearview mirror occasionally to monitor your progress. The rule of the road to riches is to proceed with caution – but keep moving.

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

All Spies Want for Christmas
by
HL Carpenter

 

The Office of Public Snooping (OOPS), a federal agency charged with figuring out if Americans have been naughty or nice, has a Christmas wish list – surveillance tips from a shadowy figure known as S. Claus.

Read the rest here