TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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January 10, 2009
Volume 7, Number 1
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Top Drawer News
2. Carpenter Country
3. Top Drawer Article
4. Top Drawer Tips
5. Top Drawer Satire

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***TOP DRAWER NEWS***

We've freshened up our web site for the new year! New pictures, new colors, new search engine. For those of you who subscribe to the satire via RSS feed, that feature will no longer be available. However, you can still enjoy a twice-monthly dose of humor by subscribing to the entire issue of Top Drawer Ink. If you encounter any difficulties while exploring our updated site, please let us know. We appreciate compliments, too! As always, we look forward to hearing your comments.

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CARPENTER COUNTRY
What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

 

Fun is an old time folk festival. That’s what Carpenter Country’s short one thought when she and a friend decided to attend the event.

And it was fun – except for a few egg-on-the-face incidents.

The first oh-oh moment came when they were pulling into their destination and the short one realized she’d left her pocketbook at home. A quick turnaround to fetch the purse was in order since it contained a vital document – her driver’s license.

Twenty high blood pressure minutes later, the gals were back at the festivities. “Okay,” the short one said, as she parked and dropped her car keys in her pocket. “Let’s check out the tour of early twentieth century homes.”

Tickets were sold at the concession stand and as the Docent waited patiently for the money, the short one’s friend realized her wallet was empty. A quick loan eased the adrenaline rush that reddened her face.

The two were still laughing about their mishaps as they strolled through the homes built in the days when phosphate mining made the area residents temporarily wealthy. While smaller than mansions on the rich and famous social register, most of the houses featured large wraparound porches, beaded board walls and heart of pine floors. One even sported leaded and stained glass windows. Fancy décor for its day.

It was nearing noon when they passed the pig-on-a-spit-roast in the park. And though they’d snacked on warm apple cider and cookies at each home, BBQ sounded good. That it came with cornbread and a-pickle-on-a-stick was even better.

After lunch, as they walked through a field filled with crafters making buckets, spinning yarn and weaving rugs, the short one smiled. “It’s been a perfect day,” she said. “Now if only -”

“- we didn’t have all those embarrassing moments,” her friend cut in with a grin.

The short one patted her pockets. “I was going to say - if only I can find my car keys.”

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

The History of Wall Street
by
HL Carpenter

 

If you lived in the Dutch settlement of Nieuw Amsterdam around 1644, you may have given little thought to the undistinguished dirt foot path bordering a plank fence at the northern section of your settlement.

Read the entire article here

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

 

Tip: The New York Stock Exchange (NYSE) got its start under a tree on Wall Street in 1792. The current headquarters, at 11 Wall Street in New York, opened in 1922. You can find out more about the history of Wall Street by visiting the NYSE Euronext web site.

Glossary Term: Stock Exchange. A stock exchange is a marketplace, either physical or virtual, where financial investments are traded. Organizations or groups that maintain the marketplace are also called exchanges, such as the New York Stock Exchange.

Financial Horoscope: Are you exchanging old habits for new ones as the new year gets under way? Or will 2009 be a new start on old habits? Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit.” Take his word for it and resolve to excel.

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Liquidating The Economy
by
HL Carpenter

 

After months of poor sales and tepid consumer interest, The Economy, Inc., a global buying network based in the US, announced it will be closing the doors and going out of business unless it can sell itself by next Tuesday.

Read the rest here