TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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April 18, 2009
Volume 7, Number 8
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country
2. Top Drawer Article
3. Top Drawer Tips
4. Top Drawer Satire

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CARPENTER COUNTRY
What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

 

Sometimes asking a simple question can lead to total confusion. In Carpenter Country, the latest foray into the realm of knotty issues occurred when the short one wondered aloud if after living in Florida for thirty-eight years she could be considered a Cracker.

As with any query there were a slew of opinions. Some thought only pioneers could be called Crackers. Others said native born Floridians held exclusive rights to Crackerhood.

In certain parts of the state, whip-snapping, cattle herding cowboys were known as Crackers. In other areas, a Cracker was someone who lived in a small cabin and was quite self-sufficient.

Then there was the Cracker vernacular. Did the short one know what a Cooter, a Piney woods rooter or swamp cabbage was?

She was pretty sure she did, but that got her thinking about the other states she’d lived in.

Could she be called a Cowgirl because she’d spent a year in Wyoming, and knew what the words nester and meadow maggot meant?

Or would five years in North Carolina absorbing phrases like ya’ll come and ya hear make her a Tarheel?

Maybe, since she’d been born on Long Island, the land of you know and you guys, she should stick to calling herself a Clam Digger.

Before absolute bewilderment ruined the entire day, she decided to cut through the muddled mess. “I am a clam digging, tarheeled cowgirl with some cracker tossed in,” she said with a laugh. Then to further uncomplicate the matter, she added –

“Hey, you guys, you know we’re having leg of meadow maggot and swamp cabbage for supper tonight. Ya’ll come, ya hear!”

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

Bank CDs
by
HL Carpenter

 

Have you noticed that Treasury bills, notes and bonds are paying next to nothing in terms of interest? If so, you may be shopping for better rates. One place to look: Certificates of deposit (CDs) at your local bank.

Read the entire article here

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

 

Tip: You can buy certificates of deposit (CDs) through your broker. These CDs are insured by the federal government in the same way as CDs purchased from your local bank, but you’ll still need to do your research. Check out the underlying bank as well as the broker you are thinking of dealing with. In addition, make sure the terms and conditions of the CD fit your investment goals.

Glossary Term: Brokered Certificate of Deposit. A certificate of deposit (CD) that a broker buys from a bank on your behalf. You purchase the CD from the broker, and you can typically sell it before maturity without incurring an early withdrawal penalty. However, depending on market conditions, when you choose to sell before the CD matures you may receive less than the principal you invested.

Financial Horoscope: In investing and life, decisions always come down to the same bottom line: Does this make sense for me? Whenever you answer yes, do not hesitate to act.

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Your Two Cents
by
HL Carpenter

 

Despite the slow economy, Your Two Cents is seeing a sharp uptick in donations this year.

Read the rest here