TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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October 17, 2009
Volume 7, Number 20
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country
2. Top Drawer Article
3. Top Drawer Tips
4. Top Drawer Satire

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CARPENTER COUNTRY
What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

 

Here in Carpenter Country, the short one was facing another Red Hat Halloween party and the same old question - which All Hallows Eve costume should she wear?

What she needed was help.

A few mouse clicks later, she was looking at a Costumery Analysis Test. The lead-in read - When you know your personality traits, you’ll be able to choose the perfect costume. If you’re ready, let’s begin. What are your interests?

Gad-zillion items lit up the screen. Only eight had to be chosen, but she picked eleven.

Next was Match the Clothes Compatible with Your Idea. This section offered another long list with instructions to choose ten. Here she Xed six, figuring that would help balance the oversupply in the previous column.

Following was a thirty item segment called Get to Know Yourself. Checking all that applied took awhile and by the time she finished she was totally ready to jump to the final phase. But a fast forward showed five additional categories covering at least nine more pages.

This could take forever - forget it!

As if the computer had read her mind, the page disappeared and a single paragraph scrolled across the screen: At present your test results reveal several scary personality traits. Supply a credit card number, then click yes to receive further information. The word vermin should be added to your traits list if you are disconnecting and plan to query family and friends about which costumes best fit your personality.

Well, Happy Halloween, there’s a good idea.

So, fellow tricksters and treaters, tell me - what ghoulish outfit do you think I should wear?

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

History of the SBA
by
HL Carpenter

 

Want to start, build and grow a business? Free help is available from the US Small Business Administration (SBA), an independent federal agency. Through state-run field offices and partnerships with public and private organizations, the SBA offers counseling and workshops – and has done so since 1953.

Read the entire article here

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

 

Tip: Among other services, SBA-funded Small Business Development Centers can help you design a plan, obtain a loan and market your business. The Centers are located throughout the US. You can find the closest one on the Small Business Administration web site, along with additional resources.

Glossary Term: Small Business Training Network. A free on-line source of training materials for entrepreneurs sponsored by the Small Business Administration.

Financial Horoscope: Are you minding your business? Your financial business, that is. Like an entrepreneur, you’ll succeed by setting realistic and achievable goals, taking calculated risks based on facts and experience, and actively participating in your financial future.

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Recalling the Facts
by
HL Carpenter

 

If you’re following the healthcare debate, you may want to check your Facts. Hyperbole Unlimited today announced a recall of Healthcare Facts, a specialty item produced for the US government. According to the announcement, the recall was prompted by reports of fury among taxpayers who study these Facts.

Read the rest here