TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

Share the fun! You may re-distribute Top Drawer Ink as long as the entire newsletter is left intact. Please respect our copyrights.

Top Drawer Ink is self-syndicated. Send reprint, licensing, syndication or other inquiries to editor -at- TopDrawerInkCorp.com.

***

November 21, 2009
Volume 7, Number 22
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country
2. Top Drawer Article
3. Top Drawer Tips
4. Top Drawer Satire

***

CARPENTER COUNTRY
What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

 

Some songs make you happy. Some songs make you sad.

Years ago, whenever “Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother’s House We Go” hit the airwaves on turkey day, Carpenter Country’s short one always felt sorry for all those grandmas stuck in the kitchen.

She’d get even more depressed when she pictured grandfathers seated at long tables, surrounded by umpteen chatty family members, as overworked grannies served the food.

Although those harried grandmas never complained, she knew the tears in their eyes weren’t caused by the joyous, upbeat melody of the song, but by the pile of dirty pots in the sink.

Now the holiday was almost here again. All across America radios were already blaring “... to Grandmother’s House We Go,” while tired but determined grandmothers made lists, went shopping, bought big birds that would need to be wrestled into the oven.

And who had written that song anyway?

In the interest of being correct, the short one checked Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations. She found the lyrics had been penned by Lydia Maria Child in 1844 - and they weren’t about going to grandmother’s house.

As she walked back to the kitchen savoring her newly acquired knowledge and humming, “... to Grandfather’s House We Go,” she realized the one-word difference changed the entire scene.

Grandmother had never been chained to the stove. Since all the relatives were going to grandfather’s house, she’d probably appointed him chief cook and pot washer.

Yes, the short one thought, some songs make you happy, some songs make you sad –

- but the right song just makes you smile.

Wishing everyone a wonderful trip to Grandfather’s house.

Happy Thanksgiving!

***

TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

The US Census
by
HL Carpenter

 

Arriving next year in your snail-mail box – the 2010 US Census questionnaire.

The form will be mailed out in March. Answer ten questions, mail the form back in the postage paid envelope by National Census Day in April, and you’re done. Don’t follow the rules and someone will come knocking on your door.

Read the entire article here

***

TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

 

Tip: Census forms will arrive by mail, and the Census Bureau will follow up on non-responses by telephone or in person – but never by email. The census form does not ask for personal financial information. Census employees will carry a badge and official identification, which you should ask to see if someone claiming to be from the Census Bureau knocks on your door.

Glossary Term: Enumeration. To determine the number of; to count. A census is a periodic count of the population. In the US, taking a census every ten years is mandated by the constitution.

Financial Horoscope: A penny sav'd is twopence clear, a pin a day is a groat a year. Save & have. Every little makes a mickle. Are you counting your pennies? Ben Franklin did too, so you’re in good company.

***

TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Too Much Debt?
by
HL Carpenter

 

You may have noticed that Debt, an American performer with an international following, has packed on a few pounds over the past year. The actor’s critics have noticed there’s a lot more of him, too.

Read the rest here