TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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March 20, 2010
Volume 8, Number 6
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country Essay

2. Top Drawer Article

3. Top Drawer Tips

4. Top Drawer Satire

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CARPENTER COUNTRY

What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

Sometimes we need a friend to give us a heads-up because we never see ourselves as clearly as others see us.

Here in Carpenter Country, the short one's gaining weight. Her brain is aware the pounds are piling up because the numbers on the bathroom scale keep climbing and the zipper on her jeans no longer zips. Yet when she looks in the hall mirror do her eyes see Chubby Tubby? No. All they see is Skinny Mini.

And what's the cause of the blind spot - a faulty mirror, mind over matter or oblivion to the obvious? Who knows ... but it happened once before.

In the days when she was young and bouncy and thought she could eat anything and everything without gaining an ounce, she packed on twenty pounds of extra blubber and cellulite.

Yet somehow she never noticed her double chin, heavier thighs or ever-widening butt. Then, just as now, when she looked in the mirror, she saw only a slim, trim, shapely form.

What finally tuned her into reality?

It happened the day she overheard a friend say - "She’s almost as wide as a barn door."

After that attention-getter the short one started counting calories while pushing the pedals on her stationary bike into high gear. Pretty soon the weight she never saw began to come off.

But what worked then isn't working now.

And even though there are words of wisdom everywhere about how to lose weight, the short one is sure the only thing that's going to work for her is another wake-up call.

So, all together, everybody, please yell - Boy, she's getting fat!

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

The Credit CARD Act

by
HL Carpenter

Are you carded? No, not with an ID verifying your age - with a credit card. If so, you recently received a notice about changes to your card company's practices, courtesy of the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure (CARD) Act of 2009.

Click here to read the rest of this article

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

Tip: The Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure (CARD) Act of 2009 applies to personal credit cards, not charge cards or business credit cards. The Act places no limits on interest rates, and does not prohibit card issuers from reducing your credit limit or revoking your card.

Glossary Term: Double-Cycle Billing. A method of computing finance charges that takes into account your balance from two previous billing cycles instead of one. What's the effect? According to a report issued by the US Government Accountability Office in 2006, you end up owing interest on amounts you've already paid off. The CARD Act bans double-cycle billing as of February 22, 2010, but some card companies have simply eliminated a grace period, which means they compute interest from the moment you charge a purchase.

Financial Horoscope: The arrival of the vernal equinox puts a spring in your step. Before you succumb to the fever of the season, give yourself credit for keeping your finances in balance.

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

The Invisibility Cloak

by
HL Carpenter

Immediately after an announcement this week about a breakthrough in the quest to create an invisibility cloak, scientists learned the US Congress has been employing a similar device for nearly a year. Even more disheartening was the discovery that while scientists were only able to make a tiny bump vanish, the apparatus Congress produced made all opposition to health care legislation disappear from political view.

Click here to read the rest of this satire