TOP DRAWER INK NEWSLETTER

 

Here's the latest issue of Top Drawer Ink, the newsletter written by author HL Carpenter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.

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June 18, 2011
Volume 9, Number 12
ISSN 1554-6330

In this issue:

1. Carpenter Country Essay

2. Top Drawer Article

3. Top Drawer Tips

4. Top Drawer Satire

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CARPENTER COUNTRY

What's Happening in Our Neck of the Human Experience

As I struggled to put my shoes back on before heading toward the gate to wing my way home to Carpenter Country, I remembered I'd once thought flying was fun. Today, all I could think was: Oh heck, another boring flight.

So, what had turned a feel-good experience into such a ho-hum?

It might be the necessity of being at the airport an hour and a half before take-off. The heightened security and uncomfortable planes with narrow aisles and narrower seats?

Or maybe it wasn't the flight that was really bothering me.

More likely, it was the fact that I'd just spent the last eight days with two of my best friends. We'd enjoyed a facial, planned a cookout, done some gambling and filled countless hours with late night catch-up conversations.

Now it would be another year before I saw either of them again.

At that moment, I looked up, and heading my way was one of the gals who was supposed to be leaving from a different gate. "Guess what," she said. "My plane's been delayed. I'm flying with you."

All of a sudden my doldrums vanished. This vacation wasn't over yet!

Such is the curse of wishful thinking.

As it turned out, we were both tired from our round of non-stop partying, and in the end we exchanged only a few words. But it didn't matter. Her friendship followed me all the way to Tampa -

- and jazzed up what would otherwise have been a very monotonous trip home.

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TOP DRAWER ARTICLE

The US Census and Congress

by
HL Carpenter

In advance of the 2010 US census, a November 2009 Top Drawer Ink article, The US Census, featured a timeline of the census from its inception in 1790 to the 2002 centennial. We concluded with the reason for counting every person in the US: To determine the number of seats in the House of Representatives allocated to each state.

Click here to read the rest of this article

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TOP DRAWER TIPS
Topics and Tidbits

Tip: Not only has the makeup of the US Congress changed over the years, so has what's called the "center of population". That's a census term for the place where an imaginary seesaw of the entire US population of 308,745,538 people would balance. Based on the 2010 census, the center of population moved southwest about 20 miles, to Plato, Missouri.

Glossary Term: Median Center of Population. The Census Bureau also calculates the median center of population, which is the geographic site where an imaginary north-south line of the US intersects an imaginary east-west line. Per the 2010 census, the median center of population lies near Petersburg, Indiana.

Financial Horoscope: The year's half over, so you have plenty of data about your financial situation. The next step is to put all those numbers to use. Calculate the center of your financial resources and figure out how to reallocate your time and money with a goal of propelling yourself to the next level of success, however you define it.

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TOP DRAWER SATIRE

The Outlook for Insult

by
HL Carpenter

Despite the drought, flood and fires consuming much of America's farmland this summer, the outlook for the nation's Insult crop is excellent.

Click here to read the rest of this satire