TOP DRAWER SATIRE

 

Outrage, Inc.
by
HL Carpenter

 

Outrage, Inc. is growing like fury. Expanding US and global economies have boosted sales of the company’s trademarked product ‘Indignation’, and earnings are soaring.

CEO Miff Peeples couldn’t be happier. “Our International Division has been producing Indignation at record levels,” she says. “We can hardly keep up with the demand overseas.”

On the domestic front, the Morality Division is emerging as a revenue leader. After years of decline, recent concern in the US about appropriate behavior has sparked an upsurge in the division’s profit margin. While it remains to be seen whether the rally is a passing fad or a long-term trend, Outrage is ramping up production to take advantage of the sudden escalation of interest in Indignation.

“This company has a great future,” says analyst Grace Unerpresure. “The worldwide call for Outrage is enormous.”

Though the company spends very little in advertising, tapping that vast potential should be fairly easy. Thanks to regular reports in television news and the print media, Outrage easily garners publicity. Religious groups and politicians, both quoted with irritating frequency, are among the company’s best customers.

The outlook has become so bright even less bullish researchers are expressing cautious optimism. Still, they point out the company faces infuriating hurdles that may impact continued profitability. One vexing problem is low entry barriers, which lead to stiff competition.

“Rank amateurs can elbow in on Outrage with no trouble,” says one industry watcher. “All it takes is a computer and an opinion.”

 

Originally published May 2004.