TOP DRAWER SATIRE

 

Taxation With Representation
by
HL Carpenter

 

Form-weary taxpayers: look up from calculating your deductions and smile. An initiative sponsored by the Institution of Certifiable Public Accountants may make your lives less taxing.

The proposal, titled ‘Leap Year Tax Reform’, but more popularly known at ‘LYTR’, would put a quadrennial limit on new tax laws.

“Once every four years is often enough to make changes to the rules,” says Icahnn Count, spokesperson for the Institution. “We intend to establish February 29 as Tax Reform Day – the only legal time to set tax policy.”

Institution members say LYTR will reduce the bulk of an already overweight tax code. In addition to restricting changes to leap years, the proposal includes a novel ‘pork chop’ feature: for every new regulation added, an existing regulation must be rescinded.

Reaction from both the White House and the dwindling field of Democratic hopefuls has been less than encouraging. But the Institution vows to continue the quest, citing strong popular support.

Opponents, including software companies and others who benefit from frequent revisions to the law, scoff at the notion that Congress would seriously consider a limit on tax tinkering. They point out that America went to war in order to have taxation with representation.

“We have the system we fought for,” says one industry lobbyist. “It’s a basic American ideal, and it’s not about to go away.”

 

Originally published March 2004.