TOP DRAWER SATIRE
The Answer Factory
by
HL Carpenter
International services giant Answers, Inc. is building a fifth factory in downtown Los Angeles. The new plant will quadruple the company’s ability to provide responses to the question industry, which has been growing at an exponential rate.
As the leading provider of solutions in an insatiable worldwide market, Answers, Inc. produced nearly 757.9 gazillion replies, rejoinders and retorts last year. But demand continues to intensify, despite repeated invocations of Fifth Amendment rights by certain celebrity sports figures.
“Our existing facilities are operating at full capacity,” says a company media representative. “And new questions arise every day.”
Though the company recently came under investigation for supplying defective products to some end-users, California officials appear to be pleased with the announced expansion.
“We’re always looking for answers,” says a spokesperson for the Governor’s office. “You can’t just find them blowing in the wind.”
Originally published March 2005.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: January 9, 2011
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