TOP DRAWER SATIRE
The Magic Account
by
HL Carpenter
Dream On Investment Group has announced the creation of a new mutual fund. Called the Magic Account, the fund is aimed at investors who are known in the industry as ‘Somedays’.
Somedays are investors who intend to create a financial plan ‘someday’ – which is defined as ‘an enchanted, unknown date in the future’, typically a time when life is expected to be less busy. In the here and now, Somedays often pluck an investment option from thin air.
Dream On wants the new Magic Account to be the option of choice.
According to paperwork filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission, the premise is simple. Account holders will make a small initial deposit and later occasionally add additional amounts in a haphazard fashion. Then they’ll wait for magic to happen so there will be enough money on hand when someday arrives.
Wesh Fulthinking, Chief Prestidigitation Officer of Dream On, acknowledges the SEC has asked for more information about the account’s ‘magic’ aspect. But she remains optimistic about ultimate approval. “We’re not trying to trick anyone,” she says. “Investors are already aware the market works in mysterious ways.”
“Besides,” she adds, “The Social Security Administration has offered a similar fund for years. Look how well that’s turned out.”
Originally published July 2005.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: January 9, 2011
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