TOP DRAWER SATIRE

 

Tomorrow is Soon Enough
by
HL Carpenter

 

Anything worth doing can wait until tomorrow.

That may become the vision statement for a much-anticipated start-up company in the Washington, D.C. area. Details remain hazy, but a prominent group of procrastinators in the nation’s capital is considering organizational options.

During a phone interview that got off to a late start, Tom Tarrier, the group’s informal spokesperson, said no action is imminent, though plans are being discussed at a leisurely pace.

“We haven’t made a decision yet about when to get everyone together,” Mr. Tarrier said. “We may pick a date tomorrow.”

Those familiar with the group report much strategic thinking has been taking place over the past months. But any real progress has been hindered by lingering unresolved issues, most notably a lengthy delay in choosing a name for the new organization.

Mr. Tarrier seems unperturbed by the dawdling. “I’m optimistic this will come together,” he said. “It’s never too late for procrastination.”

If the new company gets off the ground, knowledgeable insiders say the potential market is huge, particularly within the nation’s capital city. They point out that products such as Someday and Last Minute are both in short supply while being indispensable to procrastinators everywhere.

 

Originally published January 2005.