TOP DRAWER SATIRE
No Complaints About Complaining
by
HL Carpenter
If 2006 was any indication, the complaint market should have a bright 2007. Polls confirm that complaining rose to history-making levels across the globe.
“The world was outstandingly grumpy last year,” says Argu Mentative, Chief Grouch at Grievances, Inc., a manufacturer of specialty complaints. “We’re looking forward to even more irritability in 2007.”
Even normally crabby industry critics agree with Mr. Mentative’s assessment of a growing market. They believe the only threat to the proliferation of carping, moaning and grousing is world peace. Sadly, while that’s the hope of beauty contestants everywhere, actual experience suggests the likelihood is less than optimal.
It may not matter anyway. Experts in fault finding say an outbreak of peace would make no difference. They point to research proving that complaining is inherent to human nature.
All of which is agreeable news for Grievances. The company plans to ramp up production in 2007 to meet demand.
“We have plenty of customers,” says Mr. Mentative. “And no shortage of complaints.”
Originally published January 2007.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: December 30, 2009
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