TOP DRAWER SATIRE
Denials Unlimited
by
HL Carpenter
Denials Unlimited, the world’s largest manufacturer of custom disclaimers, reported that net profits rose 172% in August. Much of the increase was attributed to the company’s best selling product, the Political Bob and Weave.
“We expect the uptick in sales to continue as national elections draw closer,” says Hoo Me, company spokesperson. “Running for office tends to boost the demand for denials.”
Analysts agree, pointing out that when things go wrong, disavowing the truth and ducking responsibility are popular political tactics.
“Owning up to mistakes is hard work,” says one. “Alternative explanations are cheap, so why bother with facts?”
In the past, most political denials were impromptu, off the cuff remarks that often caused more problems than they solved. Today, sophisticated denials are custom tailored to fit specific scandals.
For Denials Unlimited, there’s no denying the market is lucrative.
“Our results speak for themselves,” says Mr. Hoo. “You didn’t hear it from me, but the reality is politicians can always buy a way out of trouble.”
Originally published September 2007.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: December 30, 2009
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