TOP DRAWER SATIRE
No More Happy Endings?
by
HL Carpenter
Happy Endings, Inc. may be headed for a heartbreaking Chapter 11.
The company, which produces the requisite cheerful endings for romance novels as well as fairy tales, Hollywood movies and soap commercials, has suffered from depressed demand and is searching for a corporate white knight.
“We continue to believe things will turn out all right in the end,” says company founder Merry Spirit. “We feel in our heart this crisis is merely a dark moment in our story.”
Over the past decade, sales of “Dreams Come True”, the flagship trademark of Happy Endings, have declined 75%. Ms. Spirit cites disenchanted audiences and a worldwide shortage of princes on prancing horses as the cause of the company’s woes.
But analysts say the true problem lies in the company’s reluctance to get to the real world. They believe Happy Endings should diversify into less traditional endings instead of promoting happily-ever-after as the only possible conclusion. They’d like to see endings such as “Perhaps Things Will Work Out Next Time”, or “It Could Be Worse”.
“It’s a tragic cliché,” says one industry expert. “Once upon a time Happy Endings could have been saved.”
Ms. Spirit says all hope is not yet lost, and urges continued optimism, saying, “Think of what a sad place the world would be without Happy Endings.”
Originally published July 2007.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: December 30, 2009
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