TOP DRAWER SATIRE

 

Experience No Longer the Best Teacher
by
HL Carpenter

 

Experience, Inc. may have to re-vamp its lesson plan.

The company, long considered the world’s best source of instructional material, is losing clout in the marketplace as competitors rush to exploit the demand for less costly methods of learning.

“Experience may have been a premium educational provider at one point in history,” says T. Morrow, a forward-looking specialist who believes it’s time to move on. “But we don’t have to pay the price for it today, when we know so much more.”

Are modern times really so different? Experience rejects Mr. Morrow’s assertion, pointing out that sales have declined in the past, only to rebound as consumers realize the value of the company’s wares.

“We don’t deny that our product is expensive,” says a company spokesperson. “But there’s no substitute for Experience.”

Competitors and industry experts disagree. They claim statistics support the conclusion that a combination of collective long-term memory loss and reliance on the Internet are leading to a permanent decline in the influence of Experience on modern society.

“We hope our company will triumph over Experience,” says a spokesperson for Winging It, a rival firm that sells training products to the US government. “We’re not going to let past events stand in our way.”

Originally published October 2007.