TOP DRAWER SATIRE
Branding Conformity
by
HL Carpenter
Stock in Conformity, Inc. has been caught in an unfavorable loop lately, and shareholders are trying to lasso management into explaining why.
“Everyone has the same question,” says one stock owner. “What’s wrong with Conformity?”
Company officials insist there are no fundamental problems with Conformity, a manufacturer of uniform behavioral actions. They say the company has a reliable history, and that while a few market mavericks are attempting to brand Conformity as out of touch, the decline in appeal is temporary.
Analysts agree, pointing out that the conformance market is cyclical, flaming out every four years. “Conformity is at the end of the rope now,” says one.
Critics remain unconvinced. They blame Conformity’s hog-tied stock price on the company’s insistence in following the beaten path, which they say is not the right road for the future.
The disagreement has grown fiery, with shareholders spurring for a new direction, and management digging in its heels.
“We’ve been doing business this way for hundreds of years,” sniffs Meedi Okritee, a spokesperson for Conformity. “People who want us to change have no idea what they’re asking for.”
Originally published September 2008.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: January 9, 2011
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