TOP DRAWER SATIRE

 

Distraction, Inc.
by
HL Carpenter

 

Looking for something to take your mind off these troubling economic times? Direct your attention to Distraction, Inc.

Even before an unexpected endorsement from Senator Barack Obama, business was booming for this company, which produces a broad line of time-wasting diversions. Now, officials say interest in their products has increased so much they may not be able to keep up with demand. As a result, the price of Distraction has soared.

“We’re delighted, but at the same time, we’re … what was the question again?” asked a distracted spokesperson.

Prior to the mention of Distraction by the Illinois senator during his appearance on a television comedy show last week, the company was virtually unknown. One reason: Most of its merchandise is produced for the US government, which often needs to divert the attention of Americans away from important matters but prefers to keep that fact quiet.

In addition to government work, Distraction also supplies the entertainment industry with Entertaining Distractions. Other products include Harmless Distractions, Petty Distractions, Driving Distractions, and Classroom Distractions. An older product, Productive Distractions, is less popular, and the company intends to discontinue that line in the near future.

If you’d like to tour the manufacturing facility, you can drive yourself to Distraction. Just take a left at Boredom City and travel a few miles down Internet Lane.

 

Originally published April 2008.