TOP DRAWER SATIRE

 

Cap and Trade
by
HL Carpenter

 

Buried beneath the recent furor over the death of a minor celebrity was another bit of entertainment news: The dog and pony troupe known as Cap and Trade put on a performance for the US House of Representatives. Acts included animated straw men dancing to peppy tunes such as Global Warming, Alternative Energy and Green Jobs.

“While the rest of the country was otherwise engaged, Congress focused on a very special piece of work,” says an official press release. “As usual, we’re dedicated to our task of providing amusement to the American people.”

By all accounts, the Cap and Trade spectacle was contentious, with the Congressional audience split almost evenly on the quality of the performance. Fiery debates arose over the claims of critics that Cap and Trade is just one more sideshow, its value based solely on public relations hype.

Advocates say that argument is nothing more than an overblown emission of smelly gas. They contend Cap and Trade is a must-see extravaganza with the potential for huge economic impact.

In the end, proponents won out, and House members voted to have the troupe perform for the Senate.

After a few months on the Congressional circuit, it’s believed Cap and Trade will receive official sanction to begin touring the rest of the country.

Fans like N. Virunmentally Aktev are enthusiastic about the possibility. “This is one hot show,” Ms. Aktev says. “The sky’s the limit for Cap and Trade.”

 

Originally published July 2009.