TOP DRAWER SATIRE
Lack of Clarity at The Horizon
by
HL Carpenter
Investors who have long complained about a lack of clarity at The Horizon are feeling vindicated by an investigation that reveals no one really does know where the company stands.
“I’m glad someone finally took a look at The Horizon,” says one stockholder. “That place is notorious for shifting positions.”
The Horizon, which manufactures a lengthy line of sea-sky illusions, believes the charges are unfair.
“We’ve been in the same place since we first came on the scene,” says Some Whereoutthere, a company spokesperson. “The problem is that everyone sees what they want to see at The Horizon.”
Analysts say mismatched perceptions are not the only cloud on The Horizon’s record. They point to the company’s penchant for keeping its distance from everyone.
“You can look at The Horizon all you want,” says one disgruntled researcher. “But you’ll never get close enough to find out what’s really going on.”
Originally published February 2009.
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HL Carpenter, an experienced investor and a CPA, specializes in reader friendly financial and tax topics for individuals and small businesses, and publishes Top Drawer Ink, a newsletter that's chock full of humor and common sense information.
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Last update: December 30, 2009
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