TOP DRAWER SATIRE

A Credit for All
by
HL Carpenter

As a parting surprise gift to American taxpayers, Congress passed the "Credit for All" Act just before fleeing Washington for spring recess. The huge new law, which no politicians admit to understanding, provides a federal income tax credit to anyone who is unable to claim any other tax credit.

"This is a big deal," says a high-ranking government official who attended the Act's signing ceremony. "This bill assures all Americans the right to equal tax abatement under the law."

According to experts, tax credits are used to offset the amount a taxpayer owes. The US income tax code contains many of these credits, designed to reduce taxes when individuals and businesses take specific actions.

Unlike existing rules, the new credit contains no annoying restrictions. It's aimed at leveling the playing field for taxpayers who, until now, were unable to take advantage of tax breaks and were therefore forced to pay their tax bill in full. It's refundable, too, meaning taxpayers who owe less than the amount of the credit will receive a check for the difference from the federal government.

Though many details still need to be worked out, supporters tout the bill as a change that signals real reform. They believe everyone has a right to tax credits, and say Credit for All will lead to more enjoyable lives, more liberty to pursue hopes and dreams, and complete happiness for all Americans.

Critics argue that tax credits are not a right. They worry that refunding taxpayers' money will be costly, and is unsustainable over the long term. Some are gearing up for a court fight, saying the credit is an unconstitutional intrusion into the income tax system by the government.

In recent polls, the public remains divided, with 48% agreeing something needed to be done about whatever inequality this new law corrects, 48% expressing amazement that anyone still pays income tax, and 4% unaware a tax code exists.

Originally published April 2010.