TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Reining in Budget Deficit
by
HL Carpenter

October was another record setting month for the American race horse Budget Deficit. The old gray mare, who runs under red, white and blue silks, celebrated her twenty-fifth straight victory, far outpacing her rival, Federal Revenue.

"She's a champion," says Budget Deficit's trainer, Lameduck Congress. "We're proud of the work we've done to get her to this point."

Racing analysts predict Budget Deficit will continue her winning streak through November. They say she's next to impossible to rein in, though they are beginning to worry about the excess weight she's expected to carry going forward. While handicappers argue over how many additional pounds a horse can bear without breaking down, many believe Budget Deficit may be reaching her limit.

Racing critics agree, and say Budget Deficit's career should be ended before a tragedy occurs. They think Mr. Congress is not living up to his duty to run the mare responsibly, and that he needs to start making tough decisions about her future. They'd like to see Budget Deficit put out to pasture, enjoying a permanent retirement.

"How can Congress expect Budget Deficit to continue running at her current level with no consequences?" says Vo Ter, who shovels stalls for a living. "That's a load of horse manure."

Originally published November 2010.