TOP DRAWER SATIRE

Hope and Change
by
HL Carpenter

In a press release that stunned fans, celebrity couple Hope and Change today announced a mutual decision to divorce.

"Despite their best efforts, the marriage is over," says spokesperson O. Bummer, reading prepared notes from behind a desk in his oval office. "Hope and Change ask for privacy as they go forward on separate paths."

Though Mr. Bummer says the split came only after a great deal of discussion between the two parties, it seems to many to be an abrupt ending for the once promising union. Hope and Change took their vows in January 2009 after an intense two year courtship that had the world media swooning. Their romance inspired millions and was often described as a fairy tale love affair.

Yet behind the glitter, experts say there were early signs Hope and Change were having difficulty getting along. Shortly after the pair moved into a large white house in an exclusive neighborhood, reports of marital disharmony began to surface.

"They were bickering," admits Mr. Bummer. "They tried counseling, but the relationship was too strained."

Mr. Bummer says Hope and Change remain friends, and he holds out the possibility of reconciliation between the two in the near future. Others believe that's unlikely, saying Hope has recently been seen flirting with Despair while Change has become so reclusive it's difficult to remember what he looks like.

"What happened?" asks a disconsolate admirer. "Why didn't anyone see this coming?"

Originally published June 2010.