TOP DRAWER SATIRE

The Political Theater
by
HL Carpenter

The Political Theater, a Washington DC playhouse renown for screwball comedies, today revealed that a lead actor shot himself in the foot and has had to relinquish his starring role in the soap opera "Ways and Means". While the announcement may prove taxing to other members of the cast, theater buffs will be relieved to know the show will go on.

"We will continue with the antics for which we are famous," says An Accomplice, manager of the Political Theater. "The entire assembly understands how important it is for us to maintain tradition."

The departing performer, a flamboyant personality affectionately known to his colleagues as "Man of Steal", has long been part of the Political Theater ensemble. Though he began as a minor bit player upon his arrival in Washington from New York's Theater of the Absurd nearly forty years ago, his career took off when his talent for immersing himself in fanciful scripts became apparent. He's credited with creating many of the complicated, murky twists embedded in the Ways and Means storyline.

In addition to his work in Ways and Means, Mr. Steal recently starred in the dark comedies "Tax Avoidance" and "Ethical Violations", both of which were widely panned by critics.

No one seems certain when – or whether – Mr. Steal will be able to return to Ways and Means. Mr. Steal says his absence will be temporary, but Ms. Accomplice is less confident that the actor will resume his role anytime soon.

"I wouldn't bet my sweet life on it," she says.

Originally published March 2010.